Published on December 21, 2010

The Frozen Code Begins Now!

Beginning today, and lasting all winter, The Frozen Code is making chilly calculations at The Gelato Fiasco Flagship Store. (Remember last year? This is our absurd way of poking fun at the absurd fact that we sell frozen treats 12 hours a day, all winter long.) The Frozen Code offers two great ways to save:

First, on each day that the temperature falls below freezing, we automatically use The Frozen Code to calculate a discount on your gelato order. While the traditional Frozen Code is rumored to hold a complex series of calculations that the very first gelateri used to create perfect gelato, our senior assistant archaeologist has derived fragments of the legendary code into a single calculation that can be used only in winter: Price = Price – [Price * ((32 – current temperature) / 100)]. Or, in layman’s terms: You save one percent for each degree below freezing.

Second, ask for a Frozen Code Rewards Card during your next visit. Each time you make a purchase, we’ll randomly select a letter to stamp on the card’s crossword puzzle. Whenever you complete a word, you’ll receive a coupon for a great prize, such as a free pint of gelato or a free cup of coffee. Complete all the words by the end of winter and receive a $10 rewards card! Win six rewards in all.

Spoiler Alert!

In this companion to 2009’s blockbuster “The Code of the Gelateri” and last year’s hit “Red Spoon Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Code,” Academy of Utensils Nominee Spooney (previously known as Spoon Daddy and R. Spoon) returns to The Gelato Fiasco’s red carpet for an epic adventure that begins in the nation’s capital, makes its way through coastal Maine, and ends with an action-packed adventure through Europe. In it, Spooney, who plays the First Son, falls for his bodyguard, Sorbettietta, on a culinary tour of the midcoast. During an exclusive access tour of The Gelato Fiasco’s legendary subterranean flavor recipe vault, the pair is forced to save The Frozen Code as the facility is breached by super-premium gelato impostors. With Gelato Fiasco Director of Safety and Security Walter Sobchak detained and fed a variety of pre-made gelato pastes by the impostors, the duo flees across the Atlantic hoping that the code might be best temporarily protected by the Swiss, only to be diverted to Paris because of an volcanic ashstorm. The film continues with nonstop transcontinental action and comes to a sudden, swift, and ultimately underwhelming conclusion at the world’s oldest gelateria in rural Italy.